Did I ask you?
"OMG you've lost so much weight you look fantastic"
Whenever I hear this phrase it makes me very uncomfortable. Let me try and articulate why...
Did I ask you?
On a serious note, did I ask you? So wait, what? The flattery you gave me plus ten pounds ago was false. Now I should take this 'compliment' as truth, because loosing weight is synonymous with looking good, and what happens when I fall off the wagon and gain weight again? Actually back to my original point, Did I ask you?
It's about to get really honest right now. I've suffered from painful insecurities my entire life. I still do, I've just learnt to handle it better. I remember sitting through endless conversations with my mum, listening to her begging me to see what she saw; why she couldn't understand why I was declining yet another invitation to go out because I felt too fat or too ugly that day. As a result my self esteem would always balance on what someone else thought of me. Dangerous I know, but a reality for many people, myself included. That's why your opinion on my body whether well intentioned or not is not wanted, or invited.
I guess saying someone lost weight is a compliment. If I haven't discussed any efforts to loose weight with you why do you now feel comfortable to talk to me about my body?
Now I may be very very alone here in my views, some people thrive on others' opinion. Good or bad I don't know, but for me, if I'm going to be completely honest with myself this is how I feel. Consequently, I don't give any unsolicited comments on anyone's weight, because weight does not equal beauty. You were beautiful before, you're beautiful after and your weight had nothing to do with that.
Wow. I feel liberated writing this. Again, I'm here worrying about other people's thoughts, worrying about offending people. And that's ok, this is my truth and it may not be yours.